Casting My Cares On Him

If you have talked to me at all in the past couple weeks, I have not been shy about the fact that I am feeling very overwhelmed with life right now. I try not to get stressed out a lot. But when I do, I like really do! And these past two weeks have been filled with tons of deadlines and emotional roller coasters. There were even times I felt physically sick because I was freaking out about life so much. What was the cause of all of my worry and stress? I’m so glad you asked J

This week officially began my journey as a Florida State Seminole. (YAY!) I was not really ever sure if FSU is where I would eventually end up. I always wanted to go there but I had never set my heart on it simply because I hadn’t decided what I wanted to major in! What if I picked something FSU didn’t offer? But I did, and now I get to work toward being a 2^nd generation Nole (SO to my mom). But figuring out what classes I need and balancing it with my work schedule was a lot for me to try to plan out. And then just when I thought I had decided on the perfect schedule, I got an email saying that I was signed up for a class I didn’t have the right prerequisites for. Great, now what am I going to do?!

Audrey, I need you to trust Me.

And if trying to pick out classes and times for college isn’t stressful enough, you also got to pay for them! I’m taking 14 credit hours this semester and if you know anything about how expensive college is, you can imagine how much money that is. My parents of course assured me they were here to help me. But I want to be independent. I want to be self-sufficient. I want to be an adult. I got a major heart check one Sunday when I thought I could tell God that He didn’t need my tithe money. I needed it… Then (not coincidentally) I read the verses where Jesus told His disciples and the Pharisees “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and give to God what is God’s”. I couldn’t ignore that! So I did it. But it was really hard.

Audrey, I need you to trust Me.

One of my best friends and my spiritual other half just got married in Denmark. (No, I didn’t get to go.) And not only that, she and her new husband are moving to Colorado this week! They didn’t ask my permission before they did that either! All joking aside, I really am so, so happy for them. I love them both so much and I think they are going to have the most amazing life together. But I’m really sad for me. Not just because she’s 25 hours away, but it brings up all of these other emotions. I want to find the most amazing guy that I can be best friends with and tolerate enough to consider spending the rest of my life with him. I want someone that will go on a life-long adventure with me to wherever, whenever.

Audrey, I need you to trust Me.

In case it went over your head, those fancy little italicized sentences are what I have been hearing from God over and over again. And you know what, He was right.

My school schedule hit a little bump in the road. But now with my new schedule, I am hopefully going to be able to shadow a physical therapist who works with kids (which is my dream!). That would not have been possible with my school schedule before.

School fees are due next week. I was waiting to pay them until I had gotten all of the paychecks I could. My most recent one was more than I was anticipating it to be! It wasn’t an accident though. I had just forgotten about how much overtime I had worked. But it was still a welcomed surprise!

Every once in a while, I have a “forever alone” pity party for myself, but I’m not alone! I have my family, my roommates, my friends, my girls at church. I’m basically dating Chick-fil-a (I spend most of my time there and try to look at least presentable when I go to work. So yes, we’re dating.) Besides, I’m not really sure with what free time I could really invest in a relationship right now anyway. I know God’s going to send me my Jesus-loving Prince Charming when we're both ready. And my life with him is going to be an adventure. But for right now, I really am okay with being a super awesome single pringle!

In addition to all of these things, I have been so strongly encouraged from my friends and family these past couple weeks. I’ve had people text me out of the blue asking how they could be praying for me. (When that happened, I cried. Like a lot.) Any time I start to get frustrated and start to think I can’t do this and I can’t handle it, there is someone always right there assuring me I can. So thank you, all of you, for your words of affirmation. I so appreciate having such wonderful people in my life. And above all, I am trying to trust God even when it feels like I’m losing at life. I’m obviously not perfect in that area yet. But I’m learning how much more enjoyable life can be when I cast my cares on Him.