Am I Too Picky

To be honest, I’m not really sure why I am writing this blog post. This has just been an idea that has been bouncing around my head for a couple days. Maybe because someone who reads this (maybe you) needs to hear this or just because I really do love writing these and I haven’t for a while and this is an area I’m an expert in and have nothing else to write about. Either way, you have apparently decided that this is worth reading so here we go!

The inspiration for this one came from a conversation I had at work a week or two ago. For some reason, my love life (and by love life I mean my gift of not having one) came up. I got asked about when the last time I went on a date and when I said I haven’t been on one since like all the cool kids had Razors, this guy said “Well maybe you’re just too picky.” And in that instant, I pictured my dad saying “Um she better be! Her mom and I raised her to be that way” Which is what got me thinking: when did being picky become a bad thing?

You know that saying “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. What idiot said that?! The entertainment business tries to tell us this too. There are so many movies and even songs about flings that had to end because of the end of the summer and the idea that if only you could have one night together, that would make the rest of your existence bearable because at least you got to love them once. We’ve somehow not only made love gross and romantic but we’ve somehow been able to romanticize the breakup too. THAT’S INSANE!

Break ups and lost love is not fun. It’s lonely. And it hurts. Crying yourself to sleep at night is not somehow tragically beautiful. It’s isolating because you know there is not a person in the world who knows how hard it is. Then you wake up in the morning and try to put your best happy face on and accept that this is your reality. And they aren’t somehow empowering either. It doesn’t matter how long you dated, you will at some point wonder what if you had done it differently and it had worked out. And who really wants to be someone’s rebound?! Because there have been movies about that too. That definitely is not the ideal because even if it seems fun at first, eventually all of the emotions you put off dealing with from your break up will come back to haunt you. Then what?  

I have had people tell me that my confidence in my single-ness is inspiring. To be honest, a lot of reason for that is my lack of offers. This is not a secret suggestion that I want more. The idea of a date like actually terrifies me. At work, I can be all sorts of bubbly and happy with customers but as soon as someone rolls up who I find even mildly attractive, it’s like I forget how to speak words and run away like an awkward gazelle. And I’m okay with that! Because whoever can see past all of that, well they must be the keeper! But I have come to realize that being single is not a bad thing. For one thing, I don’t have to buy yet another person a Christmas present. But it also gives me time to invest in people I may not be able to if I was dating someone. Besides, one thing I know about myself is I tend to get emotionally attached to people and just casually dating someone isn’t really an option for me. My mind goes from 0-100 in seconds. (Example: Let’s say a cute guy holds the door for me at like school. Before I can even say thank you, I’ve already named our first 2 kids and our dog and planned our first family vacation to Disney… Now you see my problem)

All of this to say, that yeah I am confident in who I am. I love being the girl best friend anyway! (Mainly because I don’t have to dress up for dates. I’ll just help you land some dates with the other ladies! ;) ) Besides, one day I hope to find a guy best friend that I like being around so much that I’ll consider making our next hang out sesh into a date. It may happen tomorrow or it may not happen for 3 years. Either way, I WILL be picky. Maybe it’s time for you to consider being picky or just even take a break from dating and learn how awesome you are! (If you need lessons on how to be too awkward for love, I’ll be happy to teach you)