I started this blog originally to give updates about the
mission trip I went on this past year (sometimes I can’t believe I actually did
that) and I realized that I really enjoy writing these posts! So these ones I
write now might be about cool things that I have seen and experienced or things
that have just been on my mind, sprinkled with some spiritual truth. Hopefully if
you take the time to read this, you will be encouraged to hear that you are not
the only person dealing with certain issues. We all got them!
So when I left for my trip, I thought I was going to come
back a total babe. You can laugh but think about it: the Caribbean has
generated some gorgeous and well-toned people. Plus, I knew I was not going to
be eating fast food all the time so I thought that this trip would be doing my
body a favor. Like the coconut water would be the source of the fountain of
youth. I knew I would be spending lots of time outside but I knew I would not
magically come back with beautiful caramel skin. I’m not that stupid!
I realized this was not going to be the case after one of the
first nights we ate dinner at our house in Haiti. My 2 roommates, our
translator, and I were fed more spaghetti than my family of 7 would probably
eat in one sitting. And because of the culture, we knew it had to be gone. I
remember the 3 of us just laying on our bed after dinner fully aware that if we
sneezed or coughed, spaghetti was going to come out of every pore in our body. And
that’s how we ate for the following months. Sometimes it was spaghetti, other
times it was rice and beans, potatoes, or just plain boiled plantains. (Now
when I try to eat this stuff, my body really struggles with it. Probably
because I maxed out on the amount of starch I can consume in my lifetime.)
When I returned home, I could tell I was a little thicker
but I was shocked when I stepped on a scale and saw how much more. It honestly
freaked me out! And it didn’t make it any better that I began to deal with my
emotions by eating all of this comfort food I somehow convinced myself I had
been deprived of. It wasn’t until we were reading this book in Bible study
called “gods at war” by Kyle Idleman (totally recommend it!) and he brought up
how food can be a god that I realized the place I was in. It was kind of
humiliating to admit that. I knew that I needed to run to God when things got
hard and not Steak n Shake. Don’t be confused: having the complete opposite
problem is just as dangerous too! God gave us food with all of these delicious
flavors for us to enjoy and to enjoy with other people. So don’t go crazy with
eating 12 Big Macs and don’t deny yourself the pleasure of a couple cookies
sometimes. And have dinner with your family and friends every once in a while.
You gotta eat anyway so you might as well be laughing while you do it!
After I realized what was going on, I decided to do a one
day fast and pray that God would remind me to put the struggle of transitioning
back into America and the worries of what lies ahead on Him. So naturally I
dreamed about doughnuts the night before… But even just that one day was enough
for me to realize that I needed God more than I needed those doughnuts. And no
matter how much I weigh or how few of my clothes fit right, He still loves every part of me. I hope you understand how precious you are to Him. And how He
sees more than the color of your skin or the shape of your face. He sees the
beauty of your heart. He sees the talents and gift He gave to you. And He wants
you to be confident in who you are in Him so you can share that wonderful smile
of yours with the people in your life who need it.
PS. This weekend is the DNOW weekend for our church for the
middle and high school students. So please pray that God would use this weekend
to remind them of how much He loves them and that they will be pumped to finish
up this school year with Him right next to them!
And never forget: God loves you. I love you. Go live a life
without fear.
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