Praising God in the Desert

When’s the last time you praised God in the storm? Seriously think about it. I have noticed in my life that being in the storm or in the pit reminds me of my need for God and I cry out to Him. But how hard is it to remember to praise God when that’s where we are? It’s easy to glorify and thank God when things are going well because obviously we must be on good terms with God if He is blessing us. It’s a lot harder to worship when there doesn’t really seem to be a lot of things for us to be thankful for.

I think Paul is making his opinion very clear about how our worship should look:

“Rejoice always!

Pray constantly.

Give thanks in everything,

For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Don’t stifle the Spirit.

Don’t despise prophecies, but test all things.

Hold on to what is good.”

-          1 Thessalonians 5:16-21

But our culture likes to change it:

“Rejoice only when things are going your way.

Only pray when it’s convenient.

Give thanks when you get what you want.

 Does God really have a plan for you?

Don’t listen to that voice telling what is right and wrong. You know what is best for you.

Other people have no right telling you how to live your life either.

Protect what is yours. After all you worked hard to get it.”

I mean that sounds pretty messed up. But it’s so easy for that to become our mindset without us even realizing what is going on! It’s as if when things are going great, it’s all us. Like we made our lives awesome. But God gets the credit when things get difficult. I believe God is in all of that! When things are great, He’s looking down on us with this huge smile because He loves seeing you so happy. When things are hard, He’s looking down on us with love and compassion. He’s there for all of it.

Over and over again in the Old Testament, the Israelites are told to remember all that God had done for them. Psalms talks about God bringing them out of captivity and all of the miraculous way He provided for them in the desert. The writer of the Psalms didn’t see any of that for himself, but he knew all about it because there were festivals and traditions so that the people would never forget all of the wonderful things God had done for them. Maybe that’s something you need to do. Make a list of all the times God has provided for you in the “desert” and thank Him for it.

For me personally, this is something I am working on right now. I have recently had some unexpected medical things come up and it’s scary. And I have spent a lot of time crying out to God. But I was reminded by a friend that I had a giant pole fall on my head and God took care of me then! Why wouldn’t He take of me now? My pole encounter was only a few months ago and of course when it had just happened, I thanked God for His healing all the time. But as life goes on and you feel like you have reached this mountain you can’t overcome, maybe it’s time to turn around and look at all of the ones God has already brought you over and thank Him for those. Maybe you need to bake a cake and have a party of your own to thank God for His blessings even if it doesn’t seem like this is the time to be celebrating anything. Besides, a little cake never hurt anything! 

So What Happens Next

So you want to know what’s like readjusting back to normal life after a mission trip? It’s hard. It’s very hard. Especially since I had never been away from home for more than a month. And even then it wasn’t like I had ever been outside of America for that long. So how do you adjust back to life in America after that long? You surround yourself with love and people who care about you and want to listen or are okay with just being quiet. Friends that want to take you to all of the restaurants you missed eating at. Your church family is key. A family that greet you on Sundays with a smile and a hug and who want to make sure that America is treating you right. And of course you need God. Because sometimes He’s the only person that can possibly understand what you are going through. And the only person who can make sense of all of the incomprehensible thoughts you have going on through your head. Plus, God never has to fit you into His schedule!

As far as what happens next (because that is what a lot of people want to know) I’m still not 100% sure. The thing I do know for sure is that I want missions to continue to be a part of my life for the rest of my life. The exact details are still a work in progress. I do know that writing these blogs have sparked a new interest for the communications world. Well I mean what I know of the communications world… Maybe it’s more of like public relations. I’m not sure. Which is why I’ve started meeting with a career counselor because my indecisiveness requires professional help. Honestly though: my ideal job would be the next Beth Moore and get to travel all across America talking to people and writing books and getting to pray for people I’ve never met before. But I am not Beth Moore so I have to figure out what Audrey Johnson wants to do with her life. 

Until then, I am working a lot to be able to afford tuition for school and to get myself as financially ready as I can for whatever lies ahead. And no I don’t have the most glamorous job in the world. I serve chicken to people and get paid to do it. But I’m learning to praise God where I am. And some days that is hard because I want to be Beth Moore. I want to be traveling the world. But for whatever reason, God put me here. Because this is where He needs me to be. And I’m learning to be thankful for the time here with my family not and running around globe. No, staying put is not exactly what I had in mind. But the future is unpredictable and exhausting so for now, I’m learning to be okay with the blessing of being here. 

Reflections (Probably Part 1 of Many)

Well it's officially almost been two weeks since I have been home. And while I love being home with my family and my friends, I do miss my immersion life. I miss my host families and my immersion family even more. It's a strange transition going from seeing a group of people almost every day to be suddenly separated from all of them. Modern technology allows us to still communicate with each other from time to time but I wish they were here with me. One of the things I wasn't expecting to struggle with is making decisions! During our trip, we would often fantasize about how great it will be when we could choose what food we wanted to eat and when we wanted to eat it and having more than our few outfits to choose from but now that I can, it's overwhelming! I just want to snuggle up with my t-shirts and have pizza delivered to my house so I don't have to go out into the real world. Thankfully, I have been able to keep myself busy by planning times with friends to catch up or I would probably become a hermit.  

However, seeing people can still sometimes be a challenge. Especially when you want to try to sum up 6 months of your life into a coffee date. There's really not a very good way to do it. It's hard to describe what I experienced because it's all about the people I met. Not about how many buildings we built or how many projects we accomplished. It's all about the relationships we met, and when you go to a new place every couple of months, you meet a lot of people. And honestly, I don't know how well I impacted the people there. Of course I loved strangers like my family and tried to show the joy I have received from Christ to everyone I met, but I can never repay some of these families I met for how wonderful they made my experience. And maybe that's what we were supposed to learn. Sure, the places we went to did not have the technology and comforts we have in America. But when that all is gone, you get to see the beauty in these people's hearts. And that's what I will take away from this trip.

Being separated from your phone and computer for so long gives you the opportunity to spend a lot of talking to God, which is something that I unfortunately don't really spend a lot of time doing. It made me realize that maybe the times we feel like we don't hear God's voice is because we allow so much other stuff to block it out. But when we look in the Bible, those who really wanted to hear God's voice separated themselves from the distractions of this world so that they could hear Him. Jesus went and prayed by Himself. Elijah was taken up on the mountain so he could hear God. Sometimes God wants to tell us the next step He wants us to take in our lives. Or sometimes He just wants to tell us about someone who needs our prayers. Don't be afraid to listen.

Live Dangerously

So imagine this for a moment: you are asleep in your bed, having wonderful dreams. And then around 1:30am you wake up to the sound that's the equivalent of hail hitting your car in the winter (something I don't have a lot of experience with but work with me). But of course, after a second your brain realizes it's the rainy season in Belize and considering your house has a tin roof, rain is hitting basically a giant speaker system. Then it hits you.. "Whoa! Next Thursday I will be getting ready to board a plane to go home!!" Which gets you thinking about everything you have experienced the past six months and things you hope to experience when you get home and the next thing you know it's 4am and you haven't really done much sleeping. The whole point of that story is me saying that I GET TO BE HOME IN A WEEK!! And again, not that I don't love Belize, I just really miss America.

But before I get carried away, here is a little bit of what has been going on. Last Thursday, I got to go back to 7 Miles because one of my host sisters was graduating primary school! It took our siblings a bit to warm back up to us but it didn't take long for us to pick right back up where we left off. Our 7 Miles parents were super excited to have us back. They even begged us to stay the night with them but considering it's an hour car ride to get back to Santa Elena and there is no phone reception, we had to say no and return home. It was hard leaving them the first time when we knew we were
going to be coming back but it was really hard to leave them that time. We left with the hope that maybe one day God will give us an opportunity to return to this family that loved us like one of their own.

This week has been one full of projects to keep ourselves busy while we prepare for returning home. There is a week long team in a city not too far from where we are so a few of us have gone every day to help out with their project. It is a fine line between being helpful and being invasive. One of their leaders asked us to give their group a summary of what our trip is about which is nice sometimes to be reminded that yeah, what we are doing is pretty cool! It can be easy to (in a weird way) take this trip for granted because it is our life for the moment. But it is actually pretty awesome.

Yesterday we went to this place called "A Painted Conversation". This lady had this vision to create a mural that represents this area and get people of the community involved in making something beautiful. I'm not exactly sure how she put it together but basically, she created this image on the computer that she traces block by block onto these very large painting papers and creates like a paint by number. Then groups or individuals can come in and paint part of it and when it is finished, it will be a big, beautiful masterpiece inspired and put together by members of this community. It was really cool just listening to her vision of the mural and explaining everything she feels like it represents. Plus, I find paint by numbers very relaxing and they require no actual talent so it was right up my ally!

Since this is my last blog post before I return home, I would like to end it with something for you to contemplate. And not just in a "hmm... interesting" way but in a "whoa! Maybe I should really think/ pray about that" kind of way. So the other day, we were downtown and we saw someone had grafittied "Be dangerous. It's safe out there." Which at first just seems kind of funny because normally you would switch the words "safe" and "dangerous" but then I got thinking about how
different life would be if we lived like that. Not just like in a way where we would maybe go on more adventures but what if you lived your spiritual life dangerously? It's so easy to live our lives in a spiritual safety zone with our safe churches. And safe friends. But what would happen if you let God lead you out of that safety net? I don't want to really give examples of that because I don't want to limit your ideas but think about it. What would happen if you decided to live dangerously for Christ? Yeah, it's kind of a scary thought but God breathed galaxies into exhistance! He can do some pretty cool stuff! Why not be a part of it? Who knows, you might get to do something cool like live for a while in some cool foreign places ;)

I Can't Belize It!

This past week we reached a very pivital date. June 12th marked 5 months since we left home and officially less than 3 weeks until we get to be back! This trip has been great and I definitely wouldn't trade my experience for anything but being away from home for so long really makes you miss it a lot. Especially because it seems the closer we get, the more we dream about being home. Maybe because we can actually deram about all the things we miss with the hope it will one day soon be our reality. Belize really isn't all that bad though. For instance, I am currently writing this blog from an air conditioned ice cream shop... Sometimes you just kind of need to spoil yourself a bit :)

The weekend was a very fun but very crazy one. Our sister had her quinceanera on Sunday which meant all this past week, we had various people coming in and out of our house helping our mom with cooking and preparing decorations. Saturday night, we had like 20 people come over to our house to help make tamales. Like several hundred tamales. And since Bekah an I are unexperienced tamale makers, we were given the glamorous job of cleaning leaves (which if you have never made tamales before, it acutally is an important part of the process). Oh and if you read my last blog post, I said we were going to try to get fun party dresses. Well, we kept going in and out of stores confused why none of the stuff was fitting us properly until someone finally told us that all of the clothes are in petite sizes. And considering I am 5'8" and my roommate is 5'10", it's no wonder none of this stuff fit us. We didn't need to start weight watchers when we got home, we just are a lot bigger than the people that live here are. So even though we had to wear the same church apparel that we have been wearing for the past 5 months, we still had a good time at the party... Until a rain storm decided to come through and make an appearance. Picture experiencing a small hurricane in a building with no windows and a tin roof. It makes it sound and feel a lot more dramatic than it probably was but it definitely sent everyone in a panic. But hey, at least it wasn't hot anymore.

So as you may or may not know, our team is the first immersion team to come to Belize which is cool because it's new to not just us but also to our organization but also hard because we don't really have any of the solid connections we have had in the other places. Which leaves your team with two options: either be bored and frustrated or go out and find stuff to do! So some people on our team have started making connections for us to get involved with some preschools and apparently Thursday we are going to go paint a mural that will be put up on some public place. So we will be getting to make a visible mark on the community. Maybe it will be something other teams will get to see and know that we did that!

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of love. Love of family. Love of friends. Love of strangers. Love of people who maybe are difficult to love. In God's mind, choosing to love people isn't an option. It's the only option. Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all we got and love our neighbors as ourselves. There doesn't need to be any more instructions than that because if we are so focused on loving others and loving God, we won't want to commit sin that would hurt them. Everything else just kind of falls into place when we put the needs of ourselves aside and love others with everything inside of us. And that's what I am going to keep doing for these last 16 days. Loving with all of my everything.

Last Stop: Santa Elana!

Well, I didn't think we would ever actually get here but we have finally made it to our last stop on our trip! Last Saturday, we made our last move from 7 Miles to Santa Elana, Belize. Which even though both are in Belize, they are very different because Santa Elana is a city and we haven't lived in a city for a while. It is kind of weird to be around so much traffic and so close to so many stores. And this isn't even that big of a city! Further proof of how going home is going to be a major adjustment.

Our last few weeks in 7 Miles were ones filled with lots of adventure hikes and even more peanuts. But Rachel and I did manage to get all of them done! Our family obviously did most of the work because apparently we are not very fast. Our last day, our family took us to the river for one last day of swimming. We got to play around in the water with our siblings and even started teaching them how to swim! The thing that was so amazing about our 7 Miles family is how much they felt like family. We have lived with several different families throughout our trip and although I have never felt like I didn't belong in a house or questioned their hospitality, this family made me feel like one of their own. Like our parents really became our parents and took care of us when we were sick and our siblings really became our siblings and we all laughed like siblings and sometimes even got on each other's nerves like real brothers and sisters. There were lots of tears and hugs when we left. But hopefully, God will let me come back to visit my 7 Miles family.

In my Santa Elana family, I have my parents and then 2 teenage sisters and a 12 year old brother, which it is fun having siblings closer to my age. Our dad is a brick mason and our mom keeps herself busy selling kitchen products and helping make food for all of the parties that we attend. Which with all of the graduations and stuff going on right now is a lot. Plus, we go to church like all the time. Like if people got doughnuts every time they went to church, the whole country would have diabetes. And one of our sisters is having her quinceanera next Sunday!! So we have been helping get all of the decorations together and our sisters are helping us go shopping for the perfect party dress. It is actually very helpful to be so busy because it helps distract from the fact we are so close to being home!! (as of 6/4 we are 28 days away from being home!)

So I have been reading through 1 and 2 Kings because I don't really even know when I have read those through all the way and I came across this story that just blew my mind! It's found in 2 Kings 6 and Elisha is in a sticky situation because a king wants him dead and has surrounded the city he is in with an army. So naturally, Elisha's friend that is with him starts freaking out because there doesn't really seem to be a way out. Then Elisha prays that God will open his friend's eyes and his friend looks again and the Bible says he saw "the hills full of horses and chariots of fire". Like what?! Can you imagine how cool that must have been to see?? And the thing is that God has us surrounded by His army all the time, keeping us safe from all that is after us. Like that song by Chris Tomlin! God's angel army is by our side! 

Kids, Carrots, and Cake

Hello from Belize! I cannot believe we have finally made it to our last stop on our six month adventure. We are actually going to be staying in two different areas while we are here which will make time go even faster! All of us are definitely loving it here, but it's also hard not to be excited about going home since we are so close. (May 16th marks 47 days until we get to go home.) Right now, we are in a little town called 7 Miles. You can try looking it up but you will be lucky to find anything about it. It's very small! But we are kind of enjoying isolation for a moment. A lot of the families here are farmers so our days are filled with different agricultural activities. I've become a professional peanut picker!

Currently I am living with Raymon, his wife, and 5 out of their 10 children (everyone has very big families here). From day one, I have definitely felt welcomed as family. We got to our new home on May 4th, which was a day before my birthday. So while we were talking with our family, they asked how old we were and the fact that the next day was going to be my birthday was brought up. My mom instantly got super excited and told me she was going to make a very nice dinner for me. On my birthday morning, I woke up to the sound of all my new siblings walking past my door saying "Audrey. Hey Audrey. Happy birthday!" Then later, we went carrot picking with our dad and a couple of our brothers. I have a whole new appreciation for salads. I also got a very weird sunburn on my back from bending over to pick the carrots. Just my luck! I got to eat my yummy delicious dinner and was very satisfied with how my day had been. Then, one of my older brothers came back in our truck and pulled out a birthday cake!! I was so shocked and happy! These people had only known me for a day and went out of their way to make sure I had a wonderful birthday. And our family's kindness and generosity has not stopped since then!

Our host family has a little truck so we get to go on field trips all the time. Sometimes it is to go visit family, sometimes it's to get groceries. So this last Wednesday, Rachel and I were picking peanuts and our dad came and asked if we wanted to go into town with him and his wife. We said sure thinking we were going to one of the little towns only a few minutes away. But an hour and a half and a car ferry later, we reached the town of Spanish Lookout. The first thing we did was get some food from a restaurant called "Dis da fi wi chicken". (If you figure out what that means, can you let us know?) But they had barbecue sauce! It's the little things like get us really excited. Then we went in and out of various farming necessities stores. Rachel and I would walk around in amazement at all these stores had. It's funny how small stores and little towns have become our norm. I'm just trying to imagine how overwhelming a mall is going to feel when we get back!

So since this is our third and final stop, here is a list of some things I have done in every country:

- I've had fresh coconut in every country! Belize coconuts have the best tasting coconut water but I liked the inside part of the coconut best in Haiti
- I've held baby animals (baby bunny in Haiti, puppies in Jamaica, and kittens in Belize)
- I've had a bagged drink in every place. In Haiti, all our water came in bags. Jamaica had very tasty and sugary bag juice. In Belize, they pour the soda out of the glass bottle into bags with straws so that the bottles can be recycled
-I've also had a coke in every country! They really did taste slightly different but that may have just been in my head
- Our team has celebrated a birthday in every country!
- I've had an outside shower in all but one of my host homes. It does make you feel rather vulnerable but I am going to kind of miss bathing in nature
- I've tripped and scraped my knee in every country. Those of you that really know me will not find that unbelievable at all
- I have been very spoiled by my host families :) In Haiti, I would get my own little bowl of hot dogs when she made fish because she found out I didn't really like seafood. In Jamaica, we got a deliciously big fruit plate every morning with breakfast. Here in Belize, we get cookies or a little snack every time we go on a road trip which has happened a lot

One Bible story I read recently that has really stuck out to me is found in 1 Kings 17. It begins by introducing Elijah and his message to King Ahab that it would not rain from quite a while. So first, God told Elijah he needed to go hide for a bit but not to worry because God was going to send ravens to bring Elijah food to eat. I have never been instructed by God to put my faith in a bunch of birds but I imagine that took great confidence that they would continue to come back. Then, God told Elijah to move to a town where someone would take of him. Elijah met a widow and her son with not a lot of ingredients to make bread. Definitely not enough to feed 3 people for an extended period of time. But she believed that God would continue to provide. But she must have had some doubt because God allowed her son to become sick almost to the point of death. Elijah cried out to God to heal her son and He did! Then the widow said she really believed Elijah was who he said he was. But I got to thinking, who needed God to show up the most? Did the widow need to be reminded that God will provide food even when it seems like she has nothing left? Did her son need to be tested to literally the point of death so that he would remain faithful to God for the rest of his life? Was it a test for Elijah for God to see if he was someone He could depend on to do His work? I don't think there is just one answer. I think God places people in our path because we need to learn something from each other. He pushes us so that we have unshakable evidence that even when it seems all hope is lost, He has been and will always be there.

Final Thoughts About Jamaica

We left Jamaica yesterday to begin our journey to Belize! We are all very excited for Belize and all of the newness and unknown it brings with it. But how do you leave the place that has been your home for 8 weeks? How do you say goodbye to a community that has welcomed you with open arms and treated you like one of their own? How long do you have to look outside at the scenery to guarantee you will never forget what every tree looks like? The memories I have made from Catadupa, Jamaica are ones I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life. And if God blesses me so, I have been promised a bed and meals from several new friends if I ever return to Jamaica.

One real cool thing that happened this week occurred at our last Tuesday night church service. I felt the presence of God there stronger than I had since we had been there. The church we were a part of has a Pentecostal background and they just seem to understand more about the power of the Spirit than any other church I have attended. At first it was pretty intimidating not because it was weird but because I didn't really understand it. But that last night, we all opened ourselves up to the Spirit. Our group showed a new vulnerability in our worship that we hadn't really let ourselves express yet. We were singing and praising and praying harder and more genuinely than I had seen us do so far. But my favorite part was when Pastor Gordan invited us to the front so the church could pray over us. The craziest thing was it didn't feel like we were a visiting group that they were praying for before we left. It felt like our church was sending us off. It was then I really realized. We were more than just visitors. We were truly family. A family not defined by DNA, but one designed by God.

Our last week in Jamaica was full of assisting another group with one of their projects. It was fun because it gave us a chance to interact with the other group and share our experiences with them but it also caused our last week to slip away faster than we were expecting. Our last night there, some of our host moms hosted a party for us with cake and other yummy treats! My current host mom surprised us also with a last dinner of fried chicken, french fries, and pepsi. It was a little funny how American our last dinner in Jamaica was but she really was so happy to make it for us. It was too cute!

So recently I have been reading through Psalm because let's be for real, it's a pretty awesome book of the Bible. The one that has stuck out to me most recently is Psalm 19:1-6 which I won't quote but you should totally grab your Bible and look it up. Spoiler alert: it's about creation. The way the author describes it is so beautifully poetic. The same wonder and awe he feels looking out at the world is very similar to how I am starting to feel about it. I haven't ever really been a huge outdoorsy person, but this trip is starting to change that. God didn't just give us things we need to survive. He gave us things to enjoy! He gave us a world full of mystery and wonder. And the coolest part is, we don't have to do anything to maintain it. We just get to sit back and give God praise for the beautiful world we have around us.

Three Months In

So here's a thought a lot of us have been struggling with this past week: we have officially been away from home for 3 months. That means 3 months since I have been able to play games and hang out with my family. 3 months since I have had lunch or coffee with any of my friends. 3 months since I have been able to praise and worship with my wonderful church family. 3 months since I have been able to drive my car. 3 months since I have had constant cell service (that one I don't mind so much). 3 months since I have slept in a bed that was actually mine. 3 months since I have been able to look at a closet or go shopping. 3 months since I have had Chick-fil-a (if you knew how many dreams I have had about waffle fries and sweet tea, you would feel so bad you would try to send me some internationally). 3 months is a long time to be separated from everything that is familiar to you!

But it also has brought it's really awesome things too. It's been 3 months since I really cared or worried about how I looked or what I wore. 3 months since I sat on the couch and watched Grey's Anatomy all day. 3 months of intentionally reading my Bible and surrounding myself with God. 3 months of meeting new people and being challenged in new and excited ways. 3 months of having to eat new foods that I may not really like but I eat them because it makes my host moms so happy when I do. 3 months of choosing to think about other people before I think of myself. 3 months of worshipping God on Sundays with awesome people that are crazy about Him. 3 months of trying to be a servant. These 3 months have definitely not come without their fair share of challenges and struggles but I have learned that I have to be dependent on God first. I can't call my mom or my friends when something goes wrong or when I am having a bad day. God has shown that He really is the source of my strength and someone I can depend on in my time of need. And for those of you that wrote me notes or gave me letters of any kind leading up to this trip, just know I really do love having those. They have helped on many homesick days. And if I have learned so much these first 3 months, I can't wait for all of the amazing things these next 3 months have in store for me.

We are also finishing up our time in Jamaica! May 2nd we are leaving Jamaica, spending another night in Miami (Yay America!), and heading out to Belize on May 3rd. As much as I have loved my time here in Jamaica and have loved becoming a part of this community, I am super excited for Belize. This is their first time having an Immersion team and from what I have heard, they are almost as excited as we are about going there! It may or may not be obvious but I really love traveling. So getting to fly for 2 days and going to a new place is something I am really looking forward to. Belize's national language is officially English which hopefully means we will have the ability to get to know people on the same personal level that we have here in Jamaica which I really do appreciate. At this moment, that is all I know about what is ahead of us in Belize but I can't wait to share all of my awesome stories with you!

Recent highlights from Jamaica:
- There is an ice cream man that rides around on a motorcycle! A cone is about 50 cents
- My house I am at right now has a little porch with an incredible view of the mountain! Definitely have taken full advantage of that
- We got to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2 the other night!
- We got help dig a hole this week for a project at the church. I'm glad we don't get that dirty every day but it was kind of fun
- It's the rainy season in Jamaica so it literally rains every day. I love it!
- My current host family has a boy that reminds me of my little sister Riza and if you know her, you can understand how entertaining our house is
- It's cool enough for me to wear my sweatpants at night! I don't really need to but it makes me happy that I can without melting so I wear them just because I can
- I am finally getting really good at washing my clothes by hand
- Our host mom gave us Jamaican chocolate bars the other day! Yum!

Recently I have been thinking a lot about Abraham. In case you need a refresher (you can check out Genesis 12 for the full story), God came to Abraham (formally Abram) and told him "Go out from your land, your relatives, and your father's house to the land that I will show you" -Genesis 12:1. Before this, all we know about Abraham is that his dad's name is Terah and he was married. That's it. We don't know anything about his childhood or really anything about who Abraham was. But apparently God thought he was a stand up guy. God looked down from heaven and decided Abraham would be a great person to begin His nation of Israel. That kind of seems like a crazy huge responsibility to me! And all the Bible says about his response is "So Abram went.." He just went! He didn't say "You know what God, I'm not really sure You know what You're talking about. See I have a family here. And a nice house. And a good job. I will follow You wherever You send me... as long as it's under my terms." No! He just went. And where God was taking him didn't have directions on a GPS he could follow so he knew he was heading the right way. I'm pretty sure there wasn't even a map. Abraham trusted God so much that he was willing to just get up and go. I'm trying to figure out where God is telling me I need to get up and go, but I hope to have faith like Abraham and just follow.

PS One of our team members had to leave last week because of some serious health issues her dad is experiencing. From what I have heard, her dad might have a possibility of a very successful recovery but I would ask you to please please keep her and her family in your prayers!

Waiting On God

This past Saturday concluded our time with our first host families in Jamaica. It was actually kind of sad to leave Annette and her family. They have all been so sweet to us: cooking for us, making sure we have everything that we need, and treating us like family. Annette has five of her own children and a couple grandchildren so adopting two extra girls for a couple weeks was easy for her. She took care of me when I was sick by making me special tea and was constantly giving Tiff and I anything she could. She would have literally done anything for us! And that giving spirit didn't stop at us either.

Her son was recently in the hospital and while she was there visiting him one day, she met this young girl who was about to be released but had been in for a while and was unsure how well she would be able to get back on her feet. Annette gave the girl her phone number and told her to call if she needed anything. A day or two later we were in Montego Bay with Annette and she did receive a call from the girl saying she had no food. Annette didn't hesitate telling her where to meet us so she could take care of her. While she was there, Annette decided to use this chance to mother her by encouraging her to continue to take her medication and get ready for an interview she was having soon. That's what I think great ministry should look like. Annette was not satisfied by just giving this girl what she thought she needed like food. Annette showed her that her need for relationship and people that cared about her was just as important, and Annette was the perfect person to give both of those to her.

As I have mentioned before, our church is a part of a group of about 12 churches all across the island. This week is their youth camp while the kids are on spring break. So this Monday, we got the chance to go to the first day of camp with pretty much everyone else from our church. The first day of camp is a big deal full of races and different competitions. You could just really feel the sense of community between all of the churches which was super cool. They were also super excited to have a group of Americans (and one Canadian) at their youth camp. We were welcomed multiple times over the loud speaker throughout the day's events. The competition part consisted of several categories like spoken word, public speaking, poems, singing, and dancing. Not all of them were exactly in sync or on key, but it was really inspiring because you could tell by the looks of their faces that they didn't really care! They were proud of what they did and in the end, it was all for God anyway.

One thing that is unique about the trip I am on is that we don't really have an agenda. We have done some small project here and there but most of our days consist of just sitting around talking to our host families or walking around visiting with people in the community. It doesn't really fit in with the definition people want with a mission trip. But being at the youth camp the other day really showed me the importance of what just being in a community has. If we were a team that came in with packed days of things that we wanted to get done, there is no way we could have given up a whole day to go to this youth camp. We were invited and encouraged to go by members of our church because they wanted us to go them! Because they knew us and cared about us. It can become easy to become discouraged because I haven't found a cure for cancer while building houses for blind, homeless people with leprosy and cavities and helping them get college degrees and impressing them with my Bible knowledge and converting a whole army for God by myself. (I do realize that's not what any mission trip is like but wait for my point!) We can build orphanages and churches but if we forget to actually tell people that we care about them, then we've kind of missed something very important. We can feed 400 hungry children but if we never ask them what their names are and tell them that someone loves them, they are just going to get hungry again so what's the point? So I may not have a tear-jerking slideshow when I get home but I am working on building relationships and showing love that will last longer than an impressive "This is what I did on my missions trip" presentation.

Before going on this trip, I often got asked the question "Why are you going on this trip?" And I was not hiding the fact that a big reason for me going on this trip was because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life as far as college and basically everything else. So by signing up for this trip I was hoping to get some clarity on that. My hope was that God would show me day one and apparently that's not really His plan. God doesn't work on our schedule and if He hadn't told me what I was supposed to do before I left for this trip, I'm not really sure why I thought He would reveal it right after I got here. Probably because that would be easy and this is supposed to be a learning process. And of course, any time I start to get frustrated with God and not knowing what I am supposed to do when I get home, He reminds me of verses like Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you- this is the Lord's declaration- plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Isn't it so annoying how God always wins?) So I still have no idea what I am going to do when I get home, God told me to wait and see. Guess patience is something He thinks I need to work on....

Week 2 Jamaica Update

So first of all, I would like to say thank you for every prayer prayed for me while I was healing from my unfortunate head injury. I do honestly feel 100% back to normal, minus the little patch of hair that is missing from where my stitches were. I had my stitches removed Wednesday and all of my soreness was pretty much gone by then as well. The biggest thing I ask is that the credit for my quick recovery not be given to me. While yes, I am a pretty stellar person, I did not just will myself to get better. God knew that I would not be patient enough if it took much longer than it did so He allowed for my body to heal itself so I could go back to my new life asap. He also has helped me see all of the blessings that came from this experience. I would also like to thank (and she's going to be really embarrassed I'm putting this in here) my roommate and friend Tiffany. She has been the best and sweetest nurse. She washed my hair for me when I couldn't because of my stitches. She has cleaned my cut for me to make sure it is healing as best as it can. She's also given me neck messages to help loosen up the tense muscles. There are not many people that would be continuously selfless like she is and I am so thankful for her. If you can't think of a friend that would clean out your head wound for you, you need to get yourself a Tiffany in your life!

This was our first week with host families in Jamaica. Tiff and I live with this lady Annette and her husband Manny. Annette sells like beach cover-ups and other vacation clothes to tourists staying in villas near Montego Bay. She said she just goes as often as there are people to sell to but since right now is the busy season for her, she has gone into the city almost every day. She also runs around Montego Bay picking up new material for her clothes and buying groceries and other necessities for us and her children and grandchildren that live nearby. Tiff and I have been able to go with her a couple days and even though she does most of it on her own, it's fun to get to travel around Montego Bay with her. She spoils us like crazy too, making sure we are always full with plenty of snacks on reserve. She just does so much to make sure her family has everything they could ever wish for.

We do have a church that we have become a part of here in Catadupa and I have loved getting to meet the pastor and all of the members. They are so sweet and greet us with such big smiles every time we come to church. Church services here run about 3 hours which does seem like a marathon compared to what I am used to. I am definitely ready for lunch when church is over but I really enjoy being there. Different members are invited to come up and share something God has shown them either with a story from the week, Bible verses, or a song. You can tell so much of the service is Spirit led. We do have a planned worship session but those few songs are just the beginning of all of the singing, praising, dancing, praying, and worshipping that go on for the rest of the service. I love seeing the joy on everyone's face while they worship. You can tell that they really get it!

Highlights from this week:
-We have become frequent visitors to this frozen yogurt place in Montego Bay. It conveniently has wifi and I would much rather pay for delicious yogurt with free wifi than just pay at an internet cafe.
-There is this plantation next to our house that we are allowed to go in and out of as we wish. It's kind of cool to see all of these exotic fruits growing on trees. It's an excursion destination for cruise ships so we see tourist buses pass through every once in a while. You can tell they are confused when they see us walking around like we live here.
-We get a fruit plate with breakfast every day! This really is a huge deal because we really didn't get a lot of fruits and vegetables in Haiti so fruit here feels like a luxury. Plus it's all so fresh and delicious!!
-Tiff brought her eno hammock with her so we've been able to put it up a couple times on our patio area. It's super relaxing to be out there when it's raining because there is a roof over our head so we don't get wet but we can listen to it.
-One of our team members had a birthday this week so we got cake and ice cream and danced all night long.
-Saturday we got to go to one of the beaches in Montego Bay. It was nice being at a beach with real sand and the water was so calm and pretty! It reminded me of Florida beaches

On Sunday, we sang this song and part of it said something along the lines of "the devil is under my feet and he doesn't like there". So naturally I had this visual of me standing on the devil which is kind of a weird thought. But if you think about it, if you were just standing on a person it would be easy for them to wiggle out from underneath you and knock you over. However, as Christians we are supposed to place our faith on the solid rock and foundation of Jesus Christ. So then I visualized me standing on this giant boulder that was on top of Satan. It is impossible to knock someone over when you are being crushed by a boulder. Even though those are maybe weird visuals it totally makes sense. If we decide we are strong enough on our own and walk away from Christ the solid rock, it's easy for the devil to knock us off our feet. But when we place our feet and our lives on Jesus, Satan does not have the power to knock us down. We can be victorious over evil if we constantly choose to place ourselves on the solid foundation of Jesus.

Struck Down but Not Destroyed

Before reading this blog post there is something you need to understand: this is not a post intended to scare you or beg for your sympathy. It's just my life and what has happened to me and I want to share it with you because I think it's really cool. So here's my story:

Quick back story. I am in Jamaica in a city called Catadupa. It's about an hour drive up the mountain from Montego Bay. The church we are staying at is part of a group of churches all throughout the island. They have been having tent revivals recently so Thursday (3/12) they were having a ladies group in the tent. We were playing one of those cheesy cute ice breaker games to get introduced to everyone. Then I just remember seeing the faces of everyone across the group look up in slight terror and gasp. Then I saw this bright flash of light and had the sensation of being hit in the head by a giant frying pan. One of the posts of the tent had fallen and landed on my head.

The next few minutes are kind of a blur. I fell back onto the bench and was just grabbing my head crying, still trying to figure out what had happened. As quickly as I had the energy, I was taken to a car and driven to the hospital in Montego Bay. When I am hurt, I like to try to make people laugh because it just puts everyone, especially me, at ease that everything is going to be okay. So I started making jokes on the way down about how out of all people this would happen to me. When we got to the hospital, I was given medicine for the pain and was ushered to get x-rays. At that point, all I knew was that I had a cut on my head, my neck was sore which was to be expected, and I knew I had definitely suffered a concussion but other than that I felt pretty good. After I had gotten my x-rays done, I went to see one of the ER doctors to find out the results. Before looking at the x-rays, the doctor asked me what had happened, checked my reflexes, and checked for any signs of pain anywhere else in my body. Of course, I continued to make jokes the whole time because why not?! Plus, you could tell he needed someone to brighten his day so that's what I was going to do. So when he pulled out the x-rays, he held the first picture up to the light, flashed me a face of confusion, and put it back. Then he grabbed the next picture, looking at it and me with the same confusion. After he had studied all the them, he took two of them out again and said he had to look at something and that he would be right back and ran out of the door.

It was at this point I started to get concerned. I looked at Amy who was with me and couldn't help but laugh because we were so confused. When the doctor came back he said he wanted to show me something on my x-rays. He held the first one up to the light. It was a side view of my skull and at the top you could plainly see that there were 2 little cracks in my skull. Then he held up the second picture and showed me one of my vertebrae was slightly crooked. Then he just looked at me and all he could say was "How are you in such a good mood? You should be in so much pain. I don't understand!" It was then I realized that the joy and peace I was feeling was not just the drugs. It was God! I explained that I was thankful I was so lucky because it could be looking and feeling much worse than it was. I was laughing because the fact I had the ability to laugh was a blessing. He told me I needed to go see an orthopedic doctor and by the time we left, he was making jokes of his own. I think having someone look at such a bad situation in such a good way really confused him but he liked hearing Amy and I talk with such assurance and peace about what was going on.

I ended up having to say 2 nights in the hospital because of delays in finding out some test results. I couldn't have visitors most of the time so it gave me lots of time to think. I was asking God why had this happened to me. Not in a mad way. I just knew there had to be a reason, there always is. (Normally I put my Bible encouragement at the end of my blog but it really fits in best here.) I thought of the story of Job. In Job chapter one, it tells of a conversation between God and Satan where Satan asks God's permission to do all these awful things to Job in order to test him. I just pictured the same kind of conversation happening about me. I imagine Satan walking up to God and being like "look this Audrey girl has had no reason to doubt her reason for this trip she's on so I'd like to make this tent pole fall on her head and see how she reacts." And God in response saying "okay you can because I never give my children more than they can handle and she can handle this but I'm going to make the wind blow in such a way where it will keep most of her safe so she can return to doing My work as soon as possible." And honestly, when you think about the size of the pole and how hard it fell, I shouldn't be okay. I should have been knocked unconscious. I should have been in the hospital longer than 2 days because the damage could have been so bad but I wasn't. I should be terrified and sad and scared but I'm not. I know God protected me. And though I definitely do not wish to have this happen again, I am not angry that it did.

As far as the physical damage, I did have a concussion, I have 2 skull fractures, got 5 stitches, and have a very sore but not broken neck. I am wearing a soft collar for a couple weeks just to give my neck time to heal. But here's the cool part, if I were to tell you all the ways I saw and experienced God during my time in the hospital this would be the longest blog post ever. Yes there were times I didn't enjoy being there. Hospital food here is no better than hospital food anywhere else. I missed being able to talk to my teammates. I didn't have a phone so my family didn't even know it had happened until the day after. Plus I got super bored. But the amount of peace and love I felt from God was amazing!

Jamaica really is beautiful. The weather right now is perfectly sunny during the day and slightly chilly at night. The people here are so wonderful too! Especially coming from Haiti where we couldn't talk to anyone, it's so great to be able to walk around outside and talk to the people we meet on the street. We are also going to be here when 2 short term teams are coming to the church so I'm totally excited to get to meet all of them and welcome them. Obviously, prayers for a quick recovery would be greatly appreciated. But even more than that, prayers of thanks to God for His protection and power in your and my life. He really does have a plan for us!

Halfway Done With Haiti!

Week three was more uneventful than the others have been which is not something I am complaining about. It meant nobody was getting sick (which almost all of us have had the stomach flu or some other fun illness), it meant no protests or riots were happening (that happens a lot too but our translators keep us away from those so we are very safe), and no new awkward experiences (like trying to go to the Haitian equivalent of Time Square on New Year's Eve. Everyone just stopped and stared at the white people). We did get one of our team members back though! She had left us before we came to Haiti due to the several illnesses she was trying to fight off. It was fun getting to welcome a team member back after we had been without her for a couple weeks. The end of week three does mean we are more than halfway done with our time in Haiti. It is crazy to think how fast everything seems to be going. We do spend the least amount of time in Haiti but it still feels like we've been here forever but then again, not long at all. That's kind of how everything is. Like part of me feels like I've known my team for years but really it's just been over a month.

For the most part, we have a very relaxed schedule in Haiti. It really is like we live here, we just do as we please. We do have some classes that we teach. Mondays and Thursdays we teach English to elementary age children so it's a lot of "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" lessons and songs. The kids do seem to have so much fun and a true love of learning from us. Fridays and Saturdays we teach English to young adults. Many of them know a pretty decent amount of English so we get to work on things like sentence structure and grammatical stuff. Saturday mornings we also help lead kids club at a local church which is just like a children's church. That is challenging because a lot of the songs and games that we usually play with little kids require English and we don't know enough Creole to translate those games over. They are a big fan of the Macarena so we fill up lots of time with that!

Haiti has been fun and full of new experiences but it has also brought some challenges. The one that has probably been the hardest for me is the inability to properly communicate with Mona and the other families that live in our area. We definitely saw this when we attempted to do laundry last week. Imagine someone giving you three different soaps and telling you that you use certain soaps with the lights and the others with the darks and you sometimes rinse in between switching soaps but other times you don't. Now imagine they can't use words. Gesturing is the only effective communication. That and the words "No, no!" Now imagine getting that from six different people who made do things slightly differently. That's laundry at our house. I do love all of the moms in our area but it's overwhelming when they all try acting like moms toward us. It was slightly humorous but it quickly became frustrating because we literally had no idea what was going on.

We have definitely still had some great experiences this past week:
-We found this bakery that has hot bread that kind of tastes like a thick pretzel. It's addicting! Plus it's only like 15 cents for a little individual loaf.
-We got to go to this really pretty area up in the mountains to go watch our translators and some locals play soccer. The ride there was long and terrifying bumping along on our tiny motos. But definitely worth the near death experience.
-One of our host sisters will bring us chocolate cheetos! Yes, it's a real thing.
-There is a place here that sells hamburgers! Definitely hit that up this week. Got me thinking about how excited I am for 4th of July hamburgers (family: that was a hint for you)
-Every morning, my roommates and I tell stories about all of the weird stuff we did in our sleep the night before. Apparently Tiffany and I have gotten so close we were having a conversation in our sleep.
-There was a rooster right next to our room that we named Dinner because he would wake us up every 15 minutes starting at 3am and we just wanted to eat him so we could sleep... and this week someone decided to have Dinner for dinner. We sleep much better now.
-Friday night we had gotten snuggled in bed were awaken by Wilson knocking on our door saying "Girls, did you brush your teeth?". He knows that we love rice and had been given some by one of the ladies in our area and wanted us to eat some. Then Monday morning we woke up and saw for breakfast Mona had bought us rolls and peanut butter. We had all been talking about how much we missed peanut butter and apparently Wilson told Mona we wanted some. Wilson would make a great American boyfriend because he understands that food is a girl's best friend. I think it really makes him happy to see us so happy when we get surprised with food we like. We got a good one, he loves us!
-My chaco tan is coming in nice. Still struggling with being in love with the chaco part but the fact there is a tan at all makes me feel pretty good.
-Also, if any of you gave me a letter with your donation or my last day at church or at any other time, I have those with me! And I read one a day just because I like being reminded people are praying for me.

My time with God everyday is definitely the biggest thing that has kept me going. I'm reading through 1 Corinthians and I found this really awesome verse in chapter 8 verse 6 "yet for us there is one God, the Father. All things are from Him and we exist for Him. And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ. All things are through Him, and we exist through Him."

Let's Go to the Beach, Beach!

From our house, it is about a 10-15 minute walk to the shore. It's the same ocean as back in Florida but it looks a lot different than the ocean view I'm used to. There's no sand. It's black rocks. And there's really not like a big open area to lay out blankets and beach chairs and play volleyball. But it's the ocean. It still has waves and the salty ocean breeze that I love. Well on Wednesday, we had a free day and our translators told us we were going to go to the nice beach. So basically I was pumped! We were going to go to a nice beach with water we could swim in: every Floridia girl's dream! The nice beach (it really doesn't have a name) is within walking distance also. So to get there we walked on one of the main roads for awhile and then Wilson took us down a dirt path that ran in between houses. Not really the kind of road you would expect to take to a nice beach.

Finally we made it to the shore and it was obvious there were a couple problems. 1) It didn't look like an area I would define as a "nice beach". The water was brown. The sand was brown. And there was trash everywhere which is something you would not find on any of the beaches back home. 2) We had gotten left behind because there was a little miscommunication about when we were supposed to leave as a group and our house had kind of slept in. So naturally we expected everyone else to already be there. And it's usually really easy to pick us out because we definitely stand out. But there wasn't anyone. So we started walking down the coast because we thought eventually we would find somebody. Then way off in the distance you could see a bunch of white heads floating in the water. We had found them! But there was a catch. To get to the nice beach you have to walk along the rocky terrain of coast. Like I felt like I was on Survivor climbing over and squeezing in between rocks. And then we walked on this really tiny path and came out on what was definitely the nice beach. Still no sand but white stones. Sky blue water. Green mountains behind us. It was all there. And it was beautiful.

So as I'm trying to treat everything that happens on the trip as a teaching moment from God, here's what I realized about our beach trip. The different beaches we have visited represent the different places we are in our journey to find what God has for us. The beach by our house is like the beginning. We can be content where we are. It's not terrible and maybe we can even learn to love it. But maybe we have seen other things that show us there are better things out there than our little beach. That's the point when God calls us on our journey. Then we reach the second beach. We think we have been following God along all the right roads and we end up at a spot that isn't as nice as we thought it would be. We reached the end of the road. Surely this has to be it. And then God takes us on the road (or coast) less traveled to the place He really wants us to be. That is the place where we see and feel God in a new and powerful way. This is where we can dance in the water because we have reached the place that exceeds all the expectations we had. Right now, I feel like I'm walking along the coast between the second and third beach. That's what this trip is. God brought me away from a place I would have been happy staying in and now He's leading me to the "nice beach", the place where I can truly feel like I belong.

Going to the beach was definitely the highlight this week. Week two was more of a physical struggle than week one. Our bodies are adjusting to the food we eat and the times of the day we eat them. That has brought some interesting side effects. Sleeping at our house is sometimes a challenge. We have a tin roof which is great when there is a nice gentle rain shower. But there are cats and chickens that like walking around up there during the night and when it wakes you up, the first thought you have is that the aliens are coming. But we have lots of great laughs about it in the morning. One super cute thing happened on Valentine's day. The boys on our team told us to go to the beach at 7. They gave us all M&Ms and whipped out a candle and got all cheesy saying how much they love all of us. It was beyond precious! And today Wilson bought us apples! Which is a big deal because I hadn't even seen an apple since we had been here. He looked so proud to surprise us and make us so happy!
The verse that has been on my mind this week is one that I kind of picked out as being my motto for this trip. I read it as if I am the river because I can't succeed on this trip without God's strength and power flowing inside of me. Psalm 46:4-5 "There is a river- its streams delight the city of God, the holy dwelling place of the Most High. God is within her; she will not be toppled. God will help her when the morning dawns."

Let's Talk About Water

In my first week here in Haiti, I have realized one thing we definitely take for granted back home. And that would be our ability to access water. I mean think about how many places you have running water in your house... it's a lot! And even if you aren't about drinking the tap water because it tastes weird or whatever, you could drink it and you would be fine. It's not going to kill you. And this is the craziest thing, you can adjust how hot or cold the water is coming out of the faucet. Now let me tell you about the water situation in Haiti: As far as water that is safe for us to drink, there is none. Unless you go buy clean water that comes in these small plastic bags that you have to bite the corner off of and drink the water from the bag. Now for bathing water, some of the host homes have a well near the house where they go get water from everyday and bring it back to the house. At our house we are dependent on the government turning the city water on everyday. It does have it's benefits. Like when it does work we can flush the toilet (we're the only house that can do that!). There also is a water spout that is set up like a shower so we can actually shower and not take a bucket bath. But it does have it's problems too.

For example: last week, we had water on Monday and Tuesday. So we all had our first experience with the patience of waiting for the water to come on so we could take a proper shower. And even though looking back we probably should have, we didn't shower Tuesday because we didn't think we were that gross and we were trying to save water for other people. Well, Wednesday the water didn't come. All day. And it was hot on Wednesday. So Thursday, the three of us that live together woke up dying from the dirt in our hair and the layers of bug spray clogging our pores. We just laid in bed and prayed God would bring the water today because we needed to bathe. So normally the water comes around 10. 10 came and went. No water. 11. Still no water. 12. We started talking about just walking to the beach and sitting in the water because we were so hot. And then we heard it: the sound of rushing water. We all sat up and about cried because we were so happy God had given us water. You will never appreciate a cold shower until you have been so miserable waiting for one. I just stood under that freezing water thanking God for hearing our prayers and giving us water. And then it hit me, when is the last time I thanked God for that?

Learning to thank God for all that He has given us will definitely not be the only thing I will learn from this trip. Here are some of the other things I have learned this week:
- One of the ladies that lives near us makes homemade potato chips and coleslaw. Kettle cooked chips ain't got nothing on this girl!
- Being able to purchase something simple that reminds us of home like Gatorade really does make a difference
- Motos do not have the ability to make it up hills (Wilson literally saved my life!)
- Spaghetti can be made into soup! You just gotta stick it in the blender. Don't try this at home. Your American stomach will be so confused
- Newborn bunnies are not cute. They are naked and wrinkly
- Cake icing here is so much better than it is in the States

Something I would like to start doing is finishing my posts with a Bible verse or a quote from devotionals we are reading here that have really stood out to me. This week it was from a devotion in the book "Grace Immersion" about the story of Martha and Mary found in Luke 10:38-42: "Now before you jump to the conclusion that Jesus doesn't want people to cook and clean, let me ask you this: If He had asked Mary for a drink, do you think she would have sprung to her feet and helped Him out? Of course! But she started with- and stayed with -a restful focus on Christ."

Hanging Out in Haiti!

It would be impossible for me to fully describe everything that I have seen and experienced in the past few days. Also, this is our first time using the internet cafe and I'm not super sure how paying for time and stuff works so I will keep it short and sweet. Haiti is very hot and humid just like Florida so I'm all about it. Some of my teammates from more northern places are struggling a little but we're all doing pretty good. I am staying with two other girls from my team. Our house "mom's" name is Mona although she's only 24 so I guess she is more like a sister. The place where we are staying a like a big house with a couple other families with an outside living room. We have to shower and use the bathroom outside but there is running water most of the time so I'm not complaining. Although it was a surprise the first time I went to go use the restroom and there where bunnies chilling in there.

Every where we go we hear "Blanc! Blanc!" which basically means "Hey, check out the white people!" We have a translator named Wilson who goes everywhere with us because we would be super confused and lost and it is just a safety thing. He is the only translator with only girls and no boys so we do feel kind of bad for him but we know he loves us! But it has definitely been a fun change in culture. Everyone we live with shares everything and I'm all about that because sharing is caring!

Here's a couple random things I have gotten to experience in the past few days: I got to ride a motorcycle for the first time. Those are kind of like the taxi service here. I got to have coconut fresh from the tree. We got to go to the ocean. There is no sand, just rocks but the view of the landscape from the beach is amazing! I did shower outside where you can see about from my shoulders up but that's how everyone does it at the house where we are staying so it seems totally normal to them. I have eaten my weight in homemade potato chips! I am learning some words in Creole but it's really hard because the sounds are so different from English. Names are the hardest to understand and remember but of course everyone is super sweet if we have trouble.

Basically, I love it here! It's so fun and different. One of the things that I am adjusting to is the idea of not caring what time it is. If we ask Wilson what the time is, he just looks at us and goes "WHATT?! We don't care about the time. We run on Haitian time!" So I have no idea what time it is ever. But hey, I'm a native Haitian now so who cares?!

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

This week has honestly not gone the way any of us thought it would. First of all, remember that snowstorm everyone was freaking out about? Yeah, it wasn't really a big deal. I mean yes it did snow but even being from Florida I could recognize that it was a let down compared to all the talk there was about it. I do think that taking the precaution of shutting things down was not a bad idea because you literally have no idea what to expect. But the night before we had watched "The Day After Tomorrow" and trust me, it was nothing like that.

Even though the snow didn't get us, the stomach flu did... The Salvation Army Core we are staying in was shut down on Tuesday which meant there were no other people in the building besides us and that turned out to be a very good thing. During the night, we had a few people that got very sick and it was convenient that there was no one here so we could quarantine them in the bathroom. I do like helping people feel better when they are sick so I was on nurse duty making sure they were comfortable and had water or anything else they needed. Ever since Monday though it's like a game of who is going to get sick next. And when you are planning to leave the country in a few days, that is really not a good thing. Plus, when everyone around you is getting sick, your body likes messing with you by telling you that you are going to get it too. I am hoping we have finally reached the end of people actually being sick and now we are just helping people get their rest, strength, and energy back.

Those of us that were not sick did get to go back to the Common Pantry again which was a good way to get us out and doing something. This time I was out front going from person to person asking them to choose which items they would like from the pantry. A lot of the people I talked to could not speak English so that was challenging but they had pictures which made it a lot easier to communicate. It was a reminder that I am about to enter a place where I am the outsider no one can communicate with. And although I am sure it will be challenging at some points, it is kind of entertaining as well.

But tomorrow is the big day! We have to leave to get on the subway at like 3am (Ew, gross!) and then we are flying straight from JFK to Haiti! It's still hard to wrap my head around it all. This week has kind of run together with all the sickness and stuff floating around so it just feels like this is surprising me how fast this is all happening. It can become easy when preparing for something crazy like going to a different country for several weeks to feel like you are not ready or able to do it. I definitely don't sleep on the ground in a bug net on a regular basis. But I know that God is pushing me outside of my comfort zone to learn more about myself and Him. I have been able to talk to people that have gone on these trips before and I am fully aware that the change is not going to be easy or pleasant at some times. God has been faithful in showing me over and over again that this trip is exactly where He wants me. So I'm just going to go for it and trust Him all the way because really it's my only option!  

Missing My Sunshine State!

The other day when I was talking to my family on the phone, they asked me if I was actually doing any work or if I was just sight seeing and exploring New York all the time. The answer is I have had plenty of time to do both. Like on Saturday, I got a chance to go to the Ground Zero memorial and museum. We spent 4 hours in the museum and still didn't see everything we could have there. It really is a beautifully done memorial to all of those that lost their lives on 9/11. It just got to the point where it was so emotionally draining and so mentally overwhelming I couldn't look at anything or read anything else. I'm definitely glad I went because even though thankfully I was not directly affected by that day, it is still a huge piece of history that I was a part of. If you do travel to New York, it is so worth spending a day to go visit there.

As far as doing the ministry work that I told everyone I was going to be doing, Friday we got the chance to help out at this really awesome food pantry called the Common Pantry near Central Park. In the training sessions we had throughout our time at Fort Wayne, we talked a lot about dignity and how to present our help and support for people who need it while keeping their dignity in tact. It can become very easy to give those who need food whatever we have that is cheap and what we don't want because at least they are getting some food. The Common Pantry takes a little bit of a different approach. They make sure to have plenty of fresh produce and healthy choices for families to have. And what is even cooler than that is that the families get to pick the items they want! It gives them a chance to feel like they get to plan a meal or two with their food options rather than just being given a bag of stuff they may not even want. It really was beautiful seeing the joy and pride on these people's faces when we were able to give them food they actually wanted.

So there are these things that apparently happen in Northern areas that we don't really experience down in Florida. They're called snowstorms. And according to the news and things I have heard from several people, this one coming up may be one of the bigger storms in NYC history! Definitely makes me wish I was back in my sunshine state. The mayor has ordered that the city be shut down tomorrow because of the weather. Thankfully, we are staying in a very safe and warm building with groceries that we have already stocked up on to get us through a day of being stuck inside. But don't worry, we have a list of projects to do tomorrow so we won't get too bored. I would ask you to pray for the people that are going to affected by the storm in any way. We are staying right next to the hospital and I always send up a little prayer whenever I hear sirens coming or going. Hopefully, there won't be a need for many sirens tomorrow.

Next Sunday is when we fly out to Haiti! It still kind of shocks me whenever I think about that. I do plan on putting out one more little post before we leave so be looking for that. Because after Sunday, who knows what my internet availability will look like. Can't wait to tell you all about it! :) 

Bright Lights in the Big City

This past week has been absolutely crazy! Between traveling to New York City and going sight seeing to getting plugged into the work we are doing here, I kind of lost track of how many days have passed... Until I got a text message from my mom this morning. She kindly reminded me that my phone does work and I do have access to a computer so I should probably take advantage of that while I can because apparently people care what I am up to. Not sure why... ;)

But we are officially in New York City staying with the Salvation Army. Now typically, when I think about the Salvation Army, I just picture the people that stand outside of buildings around Christmas ringing bells and asking for donations and you feel like a terrible person if you ignore them. But really, the Salvation Army is so much more than that. It actually started as a church and went on from there. The location where we are staying offers services like a preschool, afterschool program, a food pantry, and a daily soup kitchen. Needless to say, there is a lot of stuff to keep us busy. The building is three stories so there is always cleaning that needs to be done, food that needs to be cooked, and children that need our love and attention. Due to the size of our group, we do get to float around a lot and have an opportunity to do a little bit of everything which I love.

Both on Saturday and this past Monday, we had all day to do any sight seeing or catch up on any sleep we had missed out on. Saturday I did choose to sleep in a little bit and then went to Time Square for a major tourist moment. We didn't really necessarily do a whole lot. We just did a lot of walking around which was still really cool. I mean I have watched the ball drop in Time Square every year on New Years and it all looks big but I didn't really realize how big and bright everything actually is. Monday was a very relaxing day as well. We had read that there was an MLK day parade but it really ended up not being a thing. So instead a few of us went and saw the Statue of Liberty and did lots more walking. But honestly, walking around really is the most fun. We don't really have a plan and end up either finding really cool things we weren't expecting to or just talking and having a good time.

In all honesty, it still hasn't really hit me exactly what I'm doing right now. It kind of feels like this is a summer camp or something and that I should be going home real soon. But um that's not really the case. In case you weren't aware, I'm going to be gone for several more months. I just like don't even know how to process that fact. It's all too weird. I mean obviously I am loving it and I'm so excited to be here but I am still having problems understanding that my reality is really my reality. I do love my team with all of my heart. They are some of the most surprisingly crazy people I have ever met. It's beautiful being around a group of people that love and support each other so much. And thank you for the support all of you are giving me. I do have my phone for about another week so if you want to text me a little love note of anything I will cherish it forever!

PS if you have never been to New York City before, it is totally appropriate to sing the chorus of the "Empire State of Mind" on repeat

Instant BFF Status

Imagine this: you haven't seen your best friend in years. Things have happened and your lives have just gone in separate directions. You had always been friends. Life just got in the way. And then all of a sudden, you see them. And it's like every thing that has separated you has melted away and suddenly it doesn't matter. You just catch up about life and what's been going on and it's as if you have been together the whole time.

That's kind of what's been happening these past few days. Both our team and the team getting sent out to Africa have all bonded so well. I mean it did help that we had all stalked each other on facebook and sometimes we surprise each other by how much knowledge we have gained from facebook. But it's okay! We are all being deep and sharing things about ourselves that you normally wouldn't tell someone you just met. It's so perfectly clear that all of the prayers for our group bonded have been hardcore answered. We have also talked about what to do when issues do come up because let's be for real, there will be some. There are days when we are going to be tired and irritable and we may accidentally drive you crazy. The important thing is that we don't let all of that get to us. Hey, maybe you can pray for that!

One thing that has been super great about our training time in Fort Wayne is the time we have taken to not only talked about our relationships with the people we will be meeting and coming in contact with but also our relationship with God. And the thing that stands out to me is that Experience Mission is not at all trying to tell us what to believe. They are just challenging us to continue to dig deep and see what God might be saying to us about different topics. So yes, we have gotten a little information about where we are going. They said we will be getting more information about that the first couple days in each location. But I love how much it shows they really do care about our relationship and our picture of God.

Today we have the great adventure of driving 10 hours to New York in minivans. 20 people with hiking backpacks and various other bags in 3 minivans. If you do the math, there's not a lot of wiggle room. So also please pray for the drivers that they keep all of us safe. Because we are kind of very dependent on them right now. But I also have had this heart to heart with Jesus and realized He wouldn't call me to do this incredible missionary experience and then wipe me out on the way there. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Hopefully I will get to make pretty consistent posts. But depending on what we're doing, it may be kind of hard. So I'm just going to give you all the updates I can while that's an option for me. I love you all so much!

It's Game Time People!

For those of you who have never been on an extended trip before, you may not really understand what it is like to try to get ready for something like leaving home for 6 months. I mean how can you explain everything you feel that final week? Well this may not give you the clearest picture but I will try my best. That way if you are in this situation ever, you can brace yourself for it. You're welcome.

This week did not exactly start the way I thought it would. I had been bringing things in small trips to my parents' house to start working on my packing. So on Monday, I brought over everything I had up to that point. I had still had a few things to gather like toiletries and such but I wasn't convinced that what I had was going to fit in my backpack. Oh yeah, have I mentioned all my stuff had to fit into a hiking backpack? That was a challenge. Anyway, I had fit everything in there and I felt good about where I was at with the weight and everything. It was all good!

...until I ate some restaurant leftovers I had in the fridge. It was only from 2 days before so nothing about it seemed scary or anything. Apparently, I should have just eaten all the candy at the house because it would have made me feel better than that stuff did. For whatever reason, it tore up my stomach! I have never felt so sick. I lost 8 pounds overnight! I am not recommending it as the weight loss method of choice. Needless to say, getting food poisoning kind of put my schedule of things I needed to do on hold. I didn't eat any food for 2 days which left me exhausted and unable to do the things I really needed to get done. It may have been a blessing in disguise though. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my family those days.

So the rest of the week consisted of lists of stuff I needed to accomplish, items I needed to purchase, and of course plenty of stressing out. The last few nights, I kept waking up and needing to remind myself that yes I really was leaving on Monday. And no I had not dreamt up this whole thing. Thankfully when I was asleep it was peaceful and not me freaking out in my dreams. That may have been too much. But eventually everything got done. Everything was purchased. I packed and unpacked and repacked like 3 times to make sure I had everything and every time it was all there. Which was good because I also was having to get ready to move out of my apartment. I realized it was a possibility that I was going to have to but I was hoping it wouldn't happen. But it did and that's okay. My family was so helpful in getting all that done because I was too tired and stressed to have done that on my own.

Sunday was the first day the reality of having to say bye to everyone really set in. Mainly because I was having to bye to everyone. My church is very missioned focused which I absolutely love. I mean obviously it means a lot to me too. So I was given the opportunity to come up during both services and tell all of my church family what I was getting ready to do and they all prayed for me which was amazing. It's almost like I could feel the hugs and love all around me. And then I got real hugs and words of encouragement from people coming up to me saying how they will be praying for me. And then I started to having say goodbye to people. Until then, I had been mostly able to keep my emotions inside like a warrior but it was a serious struggle at that point. How do you fit 6 months worth of love into such a brief amount of time?! But I treasured every one of them. And I will continuously remind myself of all the love I have back home.

Today is officially flight day. My family all drove me to Jacksonville (oh they also took me to Melting Pot for dinner last night.. Holla!!). Anyway, it was nice to have them there while I got checked in and everything. And then we reached the security gate and it was like the gates that were holding my emotions together just gave out. It's hard to keep it in like a warrior when I just love them so much!! But I had to put my gameface on and face it like a boss!! And then walk through security like an awkward middle schooler... but I successfully made it on my first flight and now I am waiting for my second one and then somehow finding a group of people who I have never met before. I'm hoping the giant backpacks will be a big clue I'm in the right spot.

Thank you so much for all the love, prayer, and support all of you have given me! I hope to be updating my blog pretty regularly but I really have no idea what to expect. You can always ask my family for any news if it's been awhile since I have been able to post. I'm sure they will love your prayers and support almost as much as I do!

Ps. Did I mention the low tomorrow night in Indiana is -6?!! I'm literally going to freeze my face off!

Yeah, This Is Not A Mistake

Have you ever been at a church service somewhere or was talking to someone or read something that you knew without a doubt was God speaking through someone else to you? Well, if you haven't I will explain because it happened today! Today at church one of the songs we sang is called "Oceans" by Hillsong which I absolutely love. I had heard it before I signed myself up for this trip but hadn't really related to it in the way I can now. One of the lines in the song says "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the water wherever you would call me." The first sentence should be tattooed on every foreign missionary's body because when you do foreign missions you are literally sharing God's love across borders. That seems like a pretty obvious explanation to me. The other one takes a little more thought...

So not only did we sing this song that totally related to me but you know God's sending you a message when He uses the Bible story you are teaching to your kindergarten kids. Today we talked about the story when Jesus walks on water. If you are unfamiliar with this story, Jesus has sent His disciples on ahead of Him in a boat and while they were out there this huge storm just kind of pops out of nowhere. Then, all of a sudden, they look out and see this thing that they think is a ghost but it's actually just Jesus walking on water. So Peter (who is known for being the bold one) tells Jesus if it really is Him to tell Peter to come join Him. Jesus was like "Come on over!" But while Peter is walking on water (which lets be for reals is the coolest thing that ever happens to him), he gets freaked out by the waves and calls on Jesus to pick him up. And Jesus does!

All of that to say, when that song talks about being called upon the water wherever God leading you, that is straight up where I'm at. Like I'm Peter and I saw Jesus doing cool things in people's lives and I was like "I want to do that too!" and Jesus was like "Come on over girl! You won't be disappointed." And trust me, I haven't been. Yeah it's dramatically changed my life. Like for what other reason would you get a bug net and a sleeping pad for Christmas?? I also am completely freaking out in the best way possible about everything because I have no idea what to expect but I love it too! I am so thankful that this is what God wants me to do. It's not a mistake.

Days Left: 8! SO CLOSE!!